Bruce Pearl Sheds Some Man Tears

We’re a little late on this, but you didn’t really think There’s No “I” in Blog would let some man tears slide past us unnoticed, did you? We wouldn’t let that happen. Last week, University of Tennessee men’s basketball coach Bruce Pearl held a press conference, during which he apologized for providing the NCAA with incorrect and misleading information, and he let out a few tiny man tears while he was at it. He and the UT athletic program are being investigated for possible recruiting violations. Tennessee Athletic Director Mike Hamilton has already cut Pearl’s salary by $1.5 million and prohibited him from attending any recruiting trips. Pearl was interviewed by NCAA officials and three weeks later informed them that he had provided the false information. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to find a good video of said man tears that I can post here, but since I like Pearl, here’s a video of him cheering on the Tennessee Lady Vols (if you can’t tell, he’s the “V”).

What sports fan wouldn’t like a head coach willing to go out and support his university and interact with students like that (besides maybe a Kentucky fan)? I’ve also never heard of a coach turning himself in. (I’ve heard of universities doing it, but not coaches). Also, one of the biggest reasons I like Bruce Pearl is—even though sports and coaching remains an old boy’s club—his unwavering stance that Lady Vols coach Pat Summitt is hands down the best basketball coach in the world.

Here’s the video of Pearl’s man tearful press conference.

Starter: Lou Piniella and His Man Tears

It’s been awhile since we’ve been on Man Tears watch here at There’s No “I” in Blog. There just hasn’t been too many notable Man Tears moments in sports. Well, Lou Piniella retired as manager of the Chicago Cubs this week and brought the Man Tears with him. As a Seattle Mariners fan, I’ve always been a fan of Lou. Some people find his arguing annoying and distracting (IAN!), but I’ve always thought it helped fire up his team when they needed it. And some of those Mariners teams were so bad we all wanted to be out there screaming, throwing bases, and burying home plate with him. When he left Seattle for Tampa Bay, we respected him for wanting to be with his family. Now that he’s doing the same, we can only respect his wishes to be with his sick mother. I and the game of baseball will miss him. Now, here are the Man Tears from his press conference:

Allen Iverson’s America

Tonight marks the premiere of No Crossover: The Trial of Allen Iverson, the latest installment of ESPN’s 30 for 30 documentary series, and it couldn’t come at a better time. Back in February, Iverson skipped the NBA All-Star Game and missed several games to be with his family and ailing daughter. Then in early March, the 76ers—the team Iverson man-tearfully returned to a few months earlier—announced that he would be leaving the team, and on the same day, his wife filed for divorce and full custody of their five children. A few days later, a report came out that Iverson had drinking and gambling problems. After ESPN and the blogosphere erupted with stories concerning Iverson’s health and his potential to drink himself into oblivion, the constant news cycle quickly pushed those stories out of sight.

On February 14, 1993, Iverson was involved in a fight between groups of black and white teenagers at a bowling alley in his hometown of Hampton, Virginia. During the fight, Iverson allegedly threw a chair at a white woman. The ensuing trial in which Iverson and his friends faced charges of “maiming by mob” is viewed by residents of Hampton’s black community as an outright act of racism. Meanwhile, none of the white teenagers involved were charged with a crime. Iverson was convicted and served five months before Virginia’s governor granted him clemency. I’m hoping that, with the NBA playoffs about to begin, undoubtedly crowding both print and web sports pages, No Crossover will shed light on the real life problems Iverson has faced and remind us of the continuing racial tension in this country.

One of the reasons I love sports is because, despite all the seemingly superhuman feats professional athletes display on a daily basis, the simple truth is that every athlete is a real person with a real family from a real place. Because of this, and because of the way fans align themselves with their favorite teams and athletes, professional sports is not only linked to American (and sometimes global) culture but can also provide an acute lens through which to view certain issues.

One specific issue that is always linked to the NBA is the state of racism in this country. Any discussion of NBA history would be incomplete without mentioning how the “black style of play” changed basketball into the exciting game it is today. It would also be incomplete if you left out the problems of racism both within the league and among the fans. As David Halberstam wrote, “I don’t want to root for someone who looks like he might mug me.” This quote comes from Halberstam’s 2001 story, “In Admiration of Iverson,” and was said to him by a friend regarding Iverson being on his favorite team. Along with praising Iverson’s incredible talent in this piece, Halberstam also touches on how Iverson represents a part of our American culture that we must not forget. He writes, “We come from not merely different, but really quite separate Americas.”

Halberstam goes on to explain that his white, college-educated background creates a huge culture gap between him and Iverson—who spent his formative years surrounded by drugs and violence—despite having covered Civil Rights movements and watching Jackie Robinson break the baseball color barrier. On top of that, their age differences and Halberstam’s consequent separation from the hip-hop culture distances the two men even more. I am 27 years old, which means I have grown up in a time where hip-hop has influenced all facets of popular culture, yet that doesn’t bring me any closer to the America in which Iverson grew up. The America I grew up in is still a separate America from Iverson’s. I am multiracial and have fairly dark skin. I first grew up near Honolulu, where the color of my skin was the majority, then near Seattle, where I was too young and naive to notice the difference of my skin color from the other children. Only as an adult did I begin to notice most of the people around me were white. It is safe to say that I have never experienced the racism inherent in being a black man prosecuted under a law designed to prevent lynch mobs.

The summer after I graduated from college, I TAed and tutored a writing class of incoming freshman athletes. My favorite student was a young man from a predominately black part of Chicago with whom I worked closely to develop the most basic reading skills. He was surprised and overwhelmed at the size of his textbook. The education system had failed him. He explained to me that from grade school through high school, his school didn’t have books. It had worksheets because that’s all the school district could afford. He explained to me that he turned to basketball after a close friend had been shot because he knew basketball was the only way for him to get out of there, but he was unprepared for college. He worked, read, and wrote nonstop in order to meet the academic obligations required of him to remain in college. Basketball was his way out. College was his way to never go back. I’m writing about this young man not because I believe it gives me insight into Allen Iverson’s world, but merely to illustrate that there are pockets of America that are neglected in various ways. For how far this country has come, we need to keep the dialogue regarding racial tension in order to keep moving forward.

I’m hoping No Crossover will help do just that. A lot of people say they don’t want their sports to be mixed with politics, but Iverson represents one of the cases where the mixture is inevitable. If you are the type of person who wants to admire Iverson simply for his game, then go to YouTube and watch every one of the hundreds of crossover moves and highlights, because each one will leave you awestruck. Then, when you see him break Michael Jordan’s ankles, think of that quote in the No Crossover trailer where Iverson is compared to the smallest, strongest nail in the hardware store. That’s the strength it took for Iverson to became one of the best players the NBA has ever seen. You should admire that. While admiring the strength and perseverance it took for Iverson to earn his nickname, “The Answer,” know that there are countless numbers of men, like the young man I tutored, who fought with all they had, never gave up, and still ended up back in that place from which they tried desperately to escape. The attitude, style, and passion with which Iverson played and his ability to impose himself on every game, to me, directly reflects his triumph over the place he grew up in. I won’t pretend to know anything about Allen Iverson’s America except that it exists.

*Photo courtesy of Kevin Burkett via Creative Commons License

Starter: Jake Delhomme and His Mantears

Who Is He? Jake Delhomme was the quarterback for the Carolina Panthers, and now he’s not. That’s really all you need to know about him.

Why Do We Like Him? Well, we don’t really like him a whole lot. In fact, we’re pretty much indifferent to him, but we reserve our “benchwarmers” designation for people who totally suck. Since we don’t dislike him that much, we wouldn’t feel very good making him ride the pine. Plus, he used to be a pretty good quarterback. Sure, it was a long time ago, but I’d trust 2003 Jake Delhomme to run my offense. That was the year he led the Panthers to Super Bowl XXXVIII and even had them on the verge of winning until their “idiot kicker” basically handed the game back to the Patriots. Plus, he earns some points for the way he handled his recent press conference and discussed his release. Not only did he openly answer questions about his 18-interception 2009 season (still less than Jay Cutler…), he also now faces the 2010 NFL off-season in man tears. After playing as poorly as he did last year, answering questions about that season couldn’t have been easy, but he admitted, “I played not to make a mistake,” which doesn’t work in the NFL. He also said the line, “If you have any questions, I’ll be happy to babble out an answer for you.” That alone makes him a little more likable. For Oregon State Beavers fans (like myself), Delhomme’s departure means former Beaver Matt Moore will likely be the Panthers starting QB going into the season. Here’s video of Jake Delhomme’s man tear-filled press conference. The waterworks start right away.

Starter: LaDainian Tomlinson and His Man Tears

Who Is He? LaDainian Tomlinson is the formerly awesome former San Diego Chargers running back. I say formerly awesome because in recent seasons, LT seems to have slowed down a bit, undoubtedly a consequence of playing such a demanding position at such a high level for most of his career. Running behind his Darth Vader mask, LT has racked up 12,490 yards (8th all-time), 138 rushing touchdowns (2nd), and 153 total TDs (3rd). Needless to say, he’s been pretty good. He’s also looked pretty damn fly in the Chargers’ powder blue throwback jerseys, but really, those jerseys make everyone look good.

Why Do We Like Him? Despite his tendency to disappear in big games (see: any Chargers playoff game), I’m making him a starter for those career numbers, the Darth Vader mask, the powder blue unis, and man tears. On Monday, LT was released from the Chargers, the only team he’s played for during his nine-year career, and last night he held a press conference that seemed to be part farewell to Chargers fans and part announcement of his availability to other teams. I believe he’ll get a shot on another team, but I’m not sure he’ll be as effective as he seems to think he’ll be. However, that’s not why I’m writing about him.

The real reason: man tears of course! There’s no way we here at There’s No “I” in Blog would let any man tears go by unnoticed. During his press conference, LT broke down and let the waterworks flow, and he seemed genuinely upset to be leaving San Diego. You can watch part of LT’s press conference here. Finally, I’m making him a starter because of this awesome commercial directed by David Fincher (Se7en, Fight Club, Zodiac). I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, that’s just an amazing one-minute exercise in storytelling.

Starter: Allen Iverson and His Man Tears

Who is he? He’s Allen Iverson, and if you don’t know who A.I. is, chances are, you’ve stumbled onto the wrong blog. He’s the feisty little dude who was drafted by the 76ers in 1996, where he became the Rookie of the Year, later led the NBA in scoring four times, and laid the groundwork for his 24,098 points (and counting). He’s 34 years old and is listed at 165 pounds, yet still throws his body around as much as he can, which is a ton of fun to watch, even if age has slowed him down a bit. You probably also already know that he recently retired for a day or two before re-signing with the 76ers, where he promptly set free some pent up man tears.

Why we like him? Once again, it’s the man tears (in addition to 20,000+ points and being an amazing athlete). You didn’t think we would let some man tears pass without taking note of it, did you? Sure, this happened a while ago, but Iverson’s retirement and subsequent unretirement told us not to rush anything because A.I. isn’t going away any time soon. These man tears were respectable man tears, not Brett Favre man tears. These are man tears brought out by the same passion that drives one of the smallest guys on the court to impose his will on the game.

In case you haven’t seen it, you can watch a clip of A.I.’s press conference below, but first, I can’t forget to mention his nickname: The Answer. That’s a great nickname. We not only like athletes with great names, but we also like great nicknames too. We’ll have none of that first name initial, last name first syllable garbage like A-Rod, V-Mart, D-Wade. It’s lazy, unimaginative, and says nothing about the player or their game. The Answer, on the other hand, says just about everything you’d expect about A.I.’s game.

*Photo courtesy of thanasim25 via Creative Commons License

Starter: Mark Ingram

Who is he? Mark Ingram is the sophomore running back for the Alabama Crimson Tide. He racked up 1,864 total yards and 18 touchdowns this season. Oh yeah, he also won the Heisman Trophy, becoming the first Alabama player to win it.

Why do we like him? While I have in the past voiced my displeasure about the shameless promotion of SEC football, I’ll admit I like Ingram a lot. He’s an electrifying player who helped carry the Crimson Tide to the BCS Championship Game. (That said, I still think the wrong person won the Heisman. Nebraska’s Ndamukong Suh and Stanford’s Toby Gerhart made stronger cases. The Heisman is supposed to be awarded to the best college football player, and Gerhart not only had better numbers—1,885 yards and 26 TDs—but also won the Doak Walker Award for the best running back. Ingram wasn’t even voted the best running back, but he was voted the best player? I needed to get that off my chest.) The real reason I like Ingram is because of his Heisman speech, where he lets loose some man tears and even thanks the University of Alabama teachers. (It’s not as good as Ricky Williams’s speech, but it’s close.) It’s the man tears that did it. He could barely breathe! Fans love to see this kind of raw emotion from athletes. It brings them off the pedestal and humanizes them.

This brings me to another tangent. We’re so used to seeing players as nearly superhuman because of their ability to do things us normal folk can only dream of that when we are reminded that these athletes are real people, we either end up loving or hating them. Love him or hate him, any football fan remembers the incredulous look on Tom Brady’s face after winning Super Bowl XXXVI, just like fans love or hate Peyton Manning for his weird humor.

Recently, Steve McNair’s death and its aftermath were a grim reminder of just how human these athletes can be. Even more recently, this whole Tiger Woods fiasco proved once again that athletes get unfairly lionized by fans. (Yep, that’s all I’ll say about Tiger, because I don’t care whom he’s slept with.) It’s a strange relationship fans have with athletes, and Ingram’s speech reminded me of this: I like Ingram for his man tears as much as I dislike Brett Favre for his man tears. Ok, enough waxing philosophical, here’s Ingram’s Heisman acceptance speech.

NFL Playoff Picks: Mid-Season Update


The NFL season has reached its halfway point, which means No “I” in Blog is digging up our preseason playoff picks (that scribbly thing to the left there) to see how we’re doing.


Alex: Okay, I know what you’re thinking: How in the name of David Bowie did you think the Oakland Raiders were going to make the playoffs this year? Basically, my reasoning was this: 1) there always seems to be that one team that not even their own fans believe in that catches fire and makes the playoffs. Last year it was Miami. I saw potential in JaMarcus Russell and had invested a fourth round fantasy pick (like many others) in Darren McFadden. Like George Dubya said after 9/11 — Nev-uh Ah-gan. Besides, it’s partially not my fault. I only thought Tom Cable had punched one of his assistants, but it turns out he may have hit a number of former girlfriends/wives as well. If only he could channel that aggressiveness to his defense, instead of, you know, women.

Beyond that, I feel all right. Denver is gonna take out San Diego, but none of us saw that coming. I still believe in the Texans, especially since we KNOW Tennessee and Jacksonville aren’t going anywhere in that division, and I still think San Francisco isn’t out of it because if the rest of the NFL is the Big Ten, then the NFC West is the Sun Belt conference. Anything could happen. Beyond that, it would appear that instead of betting on the Vikings to go 8-8, I get the joy of betting against Brett Favre in the playoffs. Fine by me, even if he’s just a gunslinger that’s having fun out there like a kid in the yard blah blah blah. Hang me by my Wranglers (sounds like a country song).

Patrick: How did I pick Jacksonville to make the playoffs, even as a wildcard? Maybe I saw Maurice Jones-Drew and thought their offense would be awesome, but I forgot their QB is David Garrard and their receivers are a bunch of scrubs and the aging Torry Holt. Oh, and they don’t know how to play defense. I didn’t see Cincinnati becoming as good as they are, but no one did. If they win their next two games against division rivals Baltimore and Pittsburgh, they’ll essentially wrap up their division. I’m all for it, even if it means my picks were wrong, because that will mean a few more Ocho Cinco TD celebrations and maybe even an opportunity for Dhani Jones to tackle the globe in a bow-tie.

I’m pretty sure my Indy and New Orleans picks are pretty safe, but really, I would never have guessed the Saints would be this good. When a team is so deep at WR and RB that Reggie Bush is basically a wasted roster spot, you know they’re going to be pretty hard to stop. Even though the Vikings are going to win the NFC North (because Old Man Favre has Adrian Peterson and a fantastic offensive line to keep him from throwing stupid interceptions), I’ll say this: Aaron Rodgers looked like the better QB in both Vikings/Packers matchups, and that’s not just because Rodgers didn’t cry.

Ian: I’m still going to be 100% accurate in my predictions.

Tennessee is going to run the table and finish 10-6 — this team’s performance last year wasn’t an illusion. Denver is a piece of shit team masquerading as a 6-1 team, and Josh McDaniels’s mad fist-pumping after the New England win jinxed his team like Joba’s fist pump after striking out Kenji Johjima in the third inning on August 16 did. In the most surprising development, the mobsters holding Jake Delhomme’s wife hostage are going to be taken out by Brett Favre in an FBI operation (yeah, Favre does that on days off. Oh, you didn’t know?), and Jake will play lights-out for the rest of the season and lead Carolina to the division title. During this raid, Favre will break his hand, and Brad Childress will refuse to sit him down, which wouldn’t torpedo the Vikings’ season except for causing him to fumble on every other handoff to Adrian Peterson.

Oh, and Ocho Cinco will get suspended by Roger Goodell for Tweeting in the end zone after scoring a touchdown, and the Bengals will falter.

I should have bet money on my predictions!

SEC Football Is Only As Good As the Rest of College Football

In this story in the October 19 issue of Sports Illustrated, Ole Miss head coach Houston Nutt (pictured here telling people how awesome SEC football is) is quoted as saying, “I watch other conferences all the time and I think, Boy, I’d like to play them.” By “other conferences,” Nutt must surely mean the ACC, Big East, Big Ten, Big 12, and Pac-10, right? (These are the other conferences besides Ole Miss’s SEC that have automatic BCS bowl bids.) At least that’s what John Ed Bradley, the author of that story, seems to imply. He uses this quote by Nutt as evidence of the SEC’s superiority over the rest of college football, but what he fails to mention is that Ole Miss’s incredibly tough nonconference schedule all but guarantees wins against two Conference USA (Memphis and UAB) and two Division I-AA/FCS (Southeastern Louisiana and Northern Arizona) opponents. This logic continues throughout the article, where Bradley combines hyperbolic writing with meaningless claims to argue that SEC football is far and away better than any other conference.

Before I go on, I have to say that I’m not writing this to just call out Mr. Bradley, though I’m sure some will probably read it that way. One of the reasons we started this blog is because, on top of loving sports, we’ve gotten sick of writers creating stories out of non-stories by overstating the minuscule. In my opinion, Sports Illustrated is one of the media outlets that has heretofore avoided bombarding us with nonsense because they simply recognize that the success of the magazine lies in good writing. (They even went out of their way to NOT cover the waffling Brett Favre while ESPN was busy climbing all over his Wranglers and mopping up his man tears.) I’ll also admit that the article gets some things right, especially how awesome fans of SEC schools are. If there’s anything I can respect, it’s LSU fans making “cardboard signs in the shape of a hand with the middle finger sticking up and the words HEY, TEBOW, HOW MANY FINGERS AM I HOLDING UP?” I can also respect the fact that, as the story points out, Tennessee finished number four nationally in attendance in 2008, drawing an average crowd of 101,448. What he doesn’t tell you is the three schools that finished ahead of Tennessee. Those would be Big Ten schools: Michigan, Penn State, and Ohio State.

He goes on to explain the “depth” of the SEC by pointing out that then 2-3 Tennessee dominated Georgia 45-19, saying, “That traditional powers Georgia and Tennessee are unranked and fighting to get back among the SEC’s elite speaks to the depth of the conference.” Maybe that’s true, but I’m bothered by this because, as someone who graduated from a Pac-10 school, I’ve seen this argument constantly applied to Pac-10 schools. This logic has also been used in the Big Ten this year, as preseason reports everywhere announced the conference as “Ohio State and everyone else.” The AP rankings released this week have Iowa as the highest Big Ten school at number seven (number six in BCS rankings), and I’m anxiously awaiting all the stories in the vein of Bradley’s about the disappointment of the top schools instead of acknowledging that another school might actually be good. This is exactly what happened when USC lost to Oregon State in 2006 and 2008, Stanford in 2007, and Washington this year; everyone reacted as if USC lost to a junior college instead of even considering that there might be a reason their three losses since 2006 have all been at the hands of other Pac-10 teams. But what can you expect when all the quotes in this story are from SEC athletic directors, head coaches, and players? Like the quote from LSU tight end Richard Dickson, “Your USCs, your Ohio States, sure, they’re all great teams, but as far as a league, I don’t think you can compete with the guys we have to go against each week.”

Apparently their season opener was too long ago, when the Washington Huskies, a team expected to scrape the bottom of the Pac-10 pool, was able to hang with LSU for a full four quarters. While LSU pulled that one out, it’s worth noting that what might still be one of the worst Pac-10 teams (though UW is certainly on the rise) was competitive. It’s also worth noting that perennial powerhouse Georgia barely escaped Arizona State, (another Pac-10 bottom feeder) and Tennessee actually lost to UCLA, who is currently ninth in the Pac-10. I’m not saying the SEC isn’t good. I’m just saying the SEC and other conferences like the Big 10, Big 12, and Pac-10 are very close to being on an equal playing field and the others should get the credit they deserve.

So why respond to a story like this? What’s the point and what’s at stake? Well, as Bradley points out, the SEC as a whole brought in $91.7 million to split among the schools and have broadcasting contracts with CBS and ESPN that “will pay out more than $3 billion over the next 15 years.” That’s what is at stake. In an economy where schools are being forced to cut athletic and academic programs, any amount of money makes a huge difference. Much of the income split among conference schools comes via the bowl game payoffs, and the BCS bowl games are determined by the incredibly flawed BCS ranking system, much of which is determined by a perceived strength of schedule. Much of that perception is fueled by ridiculous exclusive broadcasting deals and hyperbolic, irresponsible articles like Mr. Bradley’s.

Benchwarmer: Brett Favre and His Man Tears

Who is he? Most of us know who we’re dealing with at this point—Favre, a second round pick by the Falcons out of Southern Mississippi back in 1991, was traded to the Packers and went on to be the only back-to-back-to-back MVP in league history (‘95-‘97), won two Super Bowls, including one against my beloved Pats in ‘96 (rather, he watched Desmond Howard win it for him), and set the career passing records for touchdowns, yards, completions, attempts, starts, and interceptions. He is also known for his affinity for Wrangler jeans.

Why have we grown to despise him? Imagine you dated the same girl through high school and college. You’ve had some of the greatest memories in your life attached to this women, basically the only woman you’ve ever known in the biblical sense. As college draws to a close, you both start to grow apart and you realize that maybe it’s time to separate for a bit, to pursue different things, and you never know for the future. The breakup is amicable, because you expect that she’s felt as strongly about you as you do about her. You imagine she’ll be on her own for quite some time, and then maybe you guys will hook up again down the road. Then you hear that she’s “kinda seeing” some guy far away, but it’s not that serious, just a fling, and it’s like, “Okay, I can deal with that. We’re not together anymore, and I’ve started dating around myself.”

But then you walk in on her passionately getting the business on a quilt sewn by your grandmother from the dude who gave you a swirly in high school while Brad Childress sits in an arm chair in the corner nodding sternly and trimming his mustache. Wouldn’t you absolutely despise this girl?

To clarify in this scenario: You are a Packers Fan, she is Brett Favre, the swirly dude is Adrian Peterson, your new girlfriend is Aaron Rodgers, and Brad Childress plays himself. Shannon Sharpe and his “insight” purposefully not included.
*Photo courtesy of Blueag9 via Wikimedia Commons
Themed by Hunson and Five Gorillas