Help a Sportswriter Choose an NBA Team!
When Walt “Crimedog” McGough joined us here at There’s No “I” in Blog, I knew he’d bring along his acute insights and wonderful wordsmithery. I also knew we’d have to do something about his one moral defect: he’s never watched a complete game of basketball. (Before you all crucify him, trust me. He’s a really good guy. He even keeps a nerf gun on hand at parties just in case some idiot starts acting a fool and needs a child-safe cap busted in his hind parts.) In order to help him jump into the world of basketball, Walt’s also agreed to let us help him find an NBA team to follow. We actually talked about this a while ago, but I waited to get going until after the NBA trade deadline because—as we found out yesterday—no one really knew what the teams would look like after the trades.
Walt’s from Pittsburgh, so he’s got the Steelers, Penguins, and Pirates but no NBA team. This means Walt has the opportunity to make his own decision on which team to follow, a chance most people (aside from fairweather fans) don’t often get. The goal here is to find a team that will both showcase the beautiful spectacle of basketball and foster a long-term interest in the game. Feel free to leave your suggestions in the post comments.
There are a few teams I feel should be OFF LIMITS:
- Los Angeles Clippers: This sucks. The Clippers were actually on the list of teams I’d suggest to Walt, but then Donald Sterling had to trade Baron Davis’s awesome beard to Cleveland, reminding everyone that he (Sterling, I mean) is a terrible owner. Sure, they still have Blake Griffin to throw down some killer dunks, but I wouldn’t encourage any friend of mine to root for a team whose owner heckles his own players and MAY HAVE done some crazy racist nonsense in his team’s locker room.
- Cleveland Cavaliers: Walt already roots for the Pirates, so we don’t want to inflict any more of this kind of damage to him (sorry, Cleveland).
THE FRONT RUNNERS:
- Chicago Bulls: Not only do they have Derrick Rose, Carlos Boozer, and Joakim Noah (and Noah’s awesome hair and Le Coq Sportif shoes), but Walt has some Chicago connections, having co-founded the Sideshow Theatre Company in the city.
- Oklahoma City Thunder: As Shoals pointed out in his GQ article, the Thunder are the perfect bandwagon team. Awesome atmosphere, well run organization, and two superstar players in Westbrook and Durant. Picking up Kendrick Perkins and Nazr Mohammed to play alongside Ibaka also gives them the size to be a legit title contender.
- Boston Celtics: Ray Allen. Kevin Garnett. Paul Pierce. Rajon Rondo. It’s beautiful basketball on both ends of the floor.
- Los Angeles Lakers: Just because he lives in Boston doesn’t mean we should rule out rooting for the enemy.
- Portland Trail Blazers: Why wouldn’t a dramatist who also loved the Pittsburgh Pirates be interested in what could be the most cursed NBA franchise (all those broken knees!)? Plus, LaMarcus Aldridge has turned into a crazy beast.
All other teams are on the table as well. Let us know your suggestions and reasons in the comments. The other option is we could force Walt to sit through a League Pass marathon A Clockwork Orange-style and let him make his decision then.
(Source: Flickr / keithallison)
