Benchwarmer: Brett Favre and His Man Tears

Who is he? Most of us know who we’re dealing with at this point—Favre, a second round pick by the Falcons out of Southern Mississippi back in 1991, was traded to the Packers and went on to be the only back-to-back-to-back MVP in league history (‘95-‘97), won two Super Bowls, including one against my beloved Pats in ‘96 (rather, he watched Desmond Howard win it for him), and set the career passing records for touchdowns, yards, completions, attempts, starts, and interceptions. He is also known for his affinity for Wrangler jeans.

Why have we grown to despise him? Imagine you dated the same girl through high school and college. You’ve had some of the greatest memories in your life attached to this women, basically the only woman you’ve ever known in the biblical sense. As college draws to a close, you both start to grow apart and you realize that maybe it’s time to separate for a bit, to pursue different things, and you never know for the future. The breakup is amicable, because you expect that she’s felt as strongly about you as you do about her. You imagine she’ll be on her own for quite some time, and then maybe you guys will hook up again down the road. Then you hear that she’s “kinda seeing” some guy far away, but it’s not that serious, just a fling, and it’s like, “Okay, I can deal with that. We’re not together anymore, and I’ve started dating around myself.”

But then you walk in on her passionately getting the business on a quilt sewn by your grandmother from the dude who gave you a swirly in high school while Brad Childress sits in an arm chair in the corner nodding sternly and trimming his mustache. Wouldn’t you absolutely despise this girl?

To clarify in this scenario: You are a Packers Fan, she is Brett Favre, the swirly dude is Adrian Peterson, your new girlfriend is Aaron Rodgers, and Brad Childress plays himself. Shannon Sharpe and his “insight” purposefully not included.
*Photo courtesy of Blueag9 via Wikimedia Commons